"School's Cancelled"

November 15, 2018; Comedic Monologue

Attention all epic gamers, 

Madison City Schools will be closed tomorrow, November 16. After school activities will also be canceled. Myself and our staff have consulted Mother Nature herself and she has stated that it will be chilly. There is also a 102% chance of the weather being nice tomorrow, but school will still be canceled. 

The risk of three flakes of snow and ice is just far too dangerous for me to send our children to school. What if a snowflake lands on a child? What if a speck of ice on the road causes a student to slip? The safety of our children during this blizzard is of my utmost concern, and I fear our schools would not be adequate shelter from these three snowflakes. Thousands of our students ride the bus each morning and afternoon, and 40 degrees is just too cold for them to stand outside. Driving or walking home from school could prove to be treacherous, and children often do not remember to pack gloves or hats to protect their delicate child skin. The weather reports will likely prove to be false but bare with me. I'm tired. Our children are tired. We live in Alabama, let your child see the only flake of snow we'll have all year. 

The decision to cancel a day of learning is always easy. I am sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. Please, email if need be.